Years ago, I had a young man come to me in tears. He and his wife were divorcing after 10 years of marriage with 3 children together. There was no affair or abuse: they “grew out of love”. He told me, “no one is innocent in this…she just had the guts to walk away.” It was a tragic situation. But it grew worse.
He had been teaching a youth Sunday school class at their church. He loved it. They were a couple of strong faith even in the midst of their marriage falling apart. The church he was attending was her family’s church. Her parents had been there most of their lives. The preacher visited the young man. Using the Bible, he told him, “you can’t teach our young people anymore since you are getting a divorce.” The young man tried to explain to no avail. He accepted the decision. But then, at the end of the conversation, the pastor said, “you need to leave this church. The Bible is clear: a man cannot divorce his wife. We cannot allow you to remain unless you repent and reconcile. And…her family was here first.”
The young man came to see me since we knew each other. We prayed and shed tears. It wasn’t long before he drifted out of church completely. To this day, he still won’t attend church because of the harm done. I share this not to point to the pastor, or the young man, or the wife, or her family…I share it simply to show that there are times we close the doors of the church to people. When we do, are we still the church?
Last weekend, Bishop Mande Muyombo of the North Katanga Conference in the Democratic Republic of Congo (a conference with over 2,000 churches) humbled everyone at Lover’s Lane United Methodist Church last Saturday with a radical statement about what it means to be conservative and an amazing confession. (I strongly encourage you to watch these two videos.) Following his confession, the entire colloquy gathered together to ask for forgiveness for their actions as well. He asked a question that has echoed in my heart all week: “If we are going to chase people away from the church, are we still the church?”
Bishop Muyombo is a traditionalist. He does not agree with same-sex marriage. But he is obviously wrestling with God’s Word – as many of us are – regarding exclusion of any of God’s children. African, Filipino, and other international United Methodists want to keep the church unified even though they disagree with the practice of same sex marriage (there are some who want separate the church as well). The same thing is occurring in our US United Methodist churches. The difference is this: those on each side of this issue believe the other side is radical. The choice seems binary: either leave the UMC to join a conservative Methodist Church that will exclude all LGBTQ folk; or stay in the UMC where the liberals will lead the church toward no truth, no beliefs, and no values.
This binary choice is false.
First, a new traditionalist Methodist Church does not feel they are “chasing away” LGBT folk. They will welcome anyone and everyone, but they will stand firm that LGBT lifestyle is a sin and those practices cannot be lived out, blessed, or allowed in their church. This will be a church of traditional non-compatiblists. It won’t be a church for everyone, but it will be a church centered on Jesus and God’s Word.
Second, remaining in the United Methodist Church does not mean it will become a raging, liberal, socialist (please feel free to fill in any word here that may scare you if you are a traditionalist non-compatiblist) church. On the contrary, as Bishops Muyombo and Yambasu (from Sierra Leone, who convened the recent Protocol separation plan) make clear, the UMC will remain a church with great diversity and contextual flexibility. This will be a church of traditional compatiblists, centrists, moderates, and progressive compatiblists. It won’t be a church for everyone, but it will be a church centered on Jesus and God’s Word.
It is deeply distressing that our church feels it must split, but I for one am ready to return all my focus and energy on making disciples of Jesus Christ! And I want to be part of a church that doesn’t chase anyone away.
EMBODY GRACE 
Well written/spoken. Thank you, John Stephens! Charlotte Edwards, Pittman Park United Methodist Church.
Nobody, not even the traditionalists are excluding people who struggle with LGBTQ issues from their churches. How long will all of you keep peddling this sensational lie?
I agree with you first sentence. Did you actually read the post?
Ah apparently not far enough. My apologies. But I am tired of seeing so many people peddle that lie though aren’t you?
Amen and amen, John. I believe that Chapelwood has always been, and will always be, a place where everyone is invited to the banquet. Everyone.
Hello Elaine Scott! It’s a blast from your past and I agree with you completely about Chapelwood – and MDUMC is there as well in my opinion. What I learned about faith those years in Houston prepared me to be a pastor of a rural mountain church in Arizona. Aint God grand?
I don’t accept your perception of liberals. That we have no values? We have no beliefs? Surely you realize that is not true. I am a Christian with strong beliefs in Jesus Christ my lord and savior. Who are you to judge me right along with your judgements of the gay community? Open hearts – open minds. I think not
You may want to read the post again. You read something into this that isn’t there. I did not share “my perceptions” but the perceptions of the traditional non-compatible Methodists and how they define liberal/progressives. No judgment from me.
I greatly appreciate your thoughtful words. In a world filled with anxiety about so many things, I feel that both you and Stan offer a balm in Gilead.
Mary Balagia
John, thank you so much for the last two posts. They have shed light on a very difficult issue for our church in a more thoughtful and well reasoned way. The video of the two professors from Candler was well done and for the first time gave a biblical basis for both views on the LGBTQ issue. I was frankly shocked that the more conservative speaker was in favor of allowing LGBTQ ministers in our faith.
I appreciate you giving us this opportunity to explore our feelings about this and providing a better understanding of what the Bible and experts have to say about it. Keep up the great work. I strongly support your view and appreciate your candor. You are in a very tough roll as our leader and I like your leadership.
Martin Mayo
Thanks for these words – and for including the pieces from the Colloquy at Lovers Lane UMC. I’m trying to save the post to the DSC Clergy Facebook page, but so far no luck. Any suggestions?
Noni Dye, Pastor
Shepherd of the Pines UMC
P O Box 1402
Overgaard AZ 85933
Cell: 928-386-2074
e-mail: nonidye@outlook.com
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
* Corrie Ten Boom
As someone who thought belonged to the strong middle (which is rapidly shrinking), I found it interesting that your thinking is the UMC that remains would be made up of some form of traditionalists/progressives/etc. What assurances do you think exist to make this so? I am hoping that we land in a place where serving the underserved….widows….orphans….families at risk, etc….becomes the top priority and mission. I don’t want to just go to church and have “my” way regardless of what way it is. I am also grateful for your friendship and leadership.
Thanks for the comment. We live in a culture that forces everyone to polarized extremes. The reason I know traditionalists and evangelicals will be in the UMC is because I am one. And I am in conversation with a lot of pastors and laity across the SE and in Texas who do not want to leave the UMC and are traditionalists. They can live in a diverse church. We need to do a better job communicating what the church will actually look like instead of letting other sides define it. As we see with Bishops Muyombo and Yambasu, we can remain together with differences. I look forward to us all casting a big vision for our future focused on Jesus Christ and our mission in the world.
Thank you, your presence and leadership is still being felt in Georgia. I am grateful for the technology that allows us to continue to remain connected in these challenging times.
Laura Edenfield
I second that, Laura. From Georgia to Texas, my prayer is that communication between us all will travel on the wings of God’s love and we can grow together. Thanks to these two professors who demonstrate a model of Christ’s compassion for us.