I recently saw this press release from a group of 80 United Methodist pastors and theologians who have decided that the United Methodist Church is beset with a crisis.

There are many others far smarter than I who are weighing in, but I thought I would add some reflections on a few things that stood out to me.  Toward the end of the release, it reads…

“While we are willing to consider many options, we wonder if it is not time for persons of good faith, representing the spectrum of theological positions within The United Methodist Church, to begin discussing ways to create a “win-win” scenario for the mental, emotional and spiritual well-being of everyone involved? In the manner that Paul and Barnabas chose to part amicably (Acts 15:39-41), can we not work for a way of parting that honors the sincerity of those with whom we differ and no longer brings pain to persons made in the image of God?”

At first glance, that sounds peaceful, kind, wonderful, and speaks to all those who may think it is time to part ways.  But I am left with a few questions…

Is this a crisis of the entire church, or is it just a crisis for certain groups within the church?  I ask this because most Methodists I know don’t spend a lot of time or energy on this “crisis” until they are together at general meetings or stirred into a froth by someone who lifts up the issue.  The vast Methodists I know in the local church are most concerned about living their faith in the midst of a variety of daily life issues.  They are busy discipling, loving, struggling, living in community, worshiping, praying, working, and wondering why we can’t find more ways to better love each other.  One of the reasons why I love being a local church pastor is that I don’t really think much about the general church unless I am at a general church meeting.  Most of my time is spent with real people and real issues, not the latest general church “crisis”.  What encourages me so much is that the social and moral issues we face are seen differently when a real person walks in the door of your church looking for relationships of love, grace, and mercy.  I have found, more often than not, Methodists are willing to embody grace to all people…even people they disagree with.  I’m not saying the issues don’t matter, but there are some who would have them be the central focus of all our conversation.  I don’t find that’s where most people are.

Is there really such a thing as a “win-win” scenario when it comes to church schism?  Can we really have an amicable breakup?  Common sense and experience dictate that every breakup I’ve ever been a part of devolves into mistrust and anger.  Have you actually ever been a part of an amicable breakup?  Maybe, but you know they are not the norm.  And when it comes to church history, there is no such thing as an “amicable breakup” or a “win-win” schism.  They don’t happen.  In college, I majored in religious history and religious studies and I don’t remember studying even one “win-win” church schism.  Most of the time the losing side was deemed heretical and excommunicated.  Just take a few moments and read the history of a few schisms on this page “Schisms in Christianity” on Wikipedia.  Schism is never pretty and hardly ever amicable.

The last point I will lift up is not so much a question, but an historical observation.  In almost every schism within the Christian church, there are never two sides sitting down and “amicably” working out all the details, coming to agreement, standing up at the end with a handshake and a smile and departing with two new churches.  That doesn’t happen.  Schisms in Christian history are never “win-win” scenarios.  There is never consensus.  There is no “HEART” principle.  In every single schism, there are winners and there are losers.  There are insiders and outsiders.  There are conquerors and the conquered.  This is probably why Jesus and Paul both lifted up the importance of the unity of the Body.  How can you remove an arm or a leg and call it “win-win”?  No, schisms are messy and militaristic.  If we continue to move in this direction, which we may, it will be messy.  I believe it will do harm to many local churches by causing members to “choose” sides…making enemies of their brothers and sisters who sit next to them in the pew each Sunday.  That possibility grieves me!  Recently, we’ve seen this in Presbyterian Church (PCUSA) at First Presbyterian in Houston, Texas.  They fell a few votes of leaving the PCUSA denomination for ECO, a new denomination of conservative Presbyterians who feel the PCUSA is too liberal.  The failure of the vote has caused a rift in the church they may not recover from since the pastors and most leadership were in favor of leaving the PCUSA denomination for ECO.  I have and will continue to pray for First Presbyterian in Houston.  This cannot be an easy time for them.  As I said, schisms are not pretty.

I have always said that I believe our greatest witness is not in who wins or loses.  Our greatest witness to the world is “HOW” we disagree with each other.  The world will look at a church split and say, “how are they any different than any other earthly institution that doesn’t get what they want?”

But can you imagine the powerful witness if somehow we could exist together embodying grace, love, and mercy toward each other…even though we disagree?  Now that would change the world!

To embody grace to those who need it as we receive it…may it be so!

The rules say you cannot help the homeless man.

One of the things I’ve always loved about Jesus’ ministry is how he dealt with rules.  Jesus was not exactly the “rebellious, rule-breaker” many hip pastors and youth ministers lift him up to be.  Jesus actually lived according to the laws of God celebrating the holy days and honoring the Sabbath.

But Jesus never let the rules get in the way of helping someone or loving someone.  Jesus knew the meaning behind the rules.  He knew the law was put in place to protect and convict all of us.  The law of God was there so that when we were confronted with a difficult decision, we would be protected when needed and we would assist when called upon.  Through the ages, like any good set of rules, they (the rules) became more important than the purpose behind them being rules in first place.

This is why Jesus healed on the Sabbath.  This is why Jesus fed his disciples on the Sabbath.  This is why Jesus would eat with those the rules said to not eat with.  When we forget why the rules are in place, the rules lose meaning.  The meaningless rules become a heavy burden on your back for reasons we have long forgotten.

I am glad Jesus “fulfilled” the law and reminded us of the purpose behind the rules.  I often use the phrase I learned from my grandmother, “we need to get the ox out of the ditch” when reminding myself and others that we must sometime go against the “rule” for a greater good.  The phrase comes from Luke 14:5 when Jesus asks, “which of you shall have an ass or an ox fallen into a pit and not immediately pull it out on Sabbath day?”

Antoine Turner just committed to Boise State to play football this fall.  His story is pretty amazing.  His mother died when he was very young.  He has been transient and homeless most of his life.  He is homeless now…and he will be a scholarship athlete at Boise State.  But until he actually registers for classes, he has nowhere to lay his head.  He talks about not even owning a blanket.

When the Boise State fans and alumni heard about Antoine, they responded with overwhelming generosity!  That is no surprise.  People want to help.  There is only one problem…the NCAA has rules against furnishing any kind of aid at all to student athletes.  Boise State could face sanctions if anyone helped Antoine.  And so, Boise State is telling everyone NOT to help their newest, homeless football player.

There is a part of me that almost wants to laugh at the lunacy, but we are talking about a young man who is homeless and who has been homeless most of his life.  That is no laughing matter.

Antoine will have housing and three square meals soon.  Hopefully, he will have a bright future with an education from Boise State!  In the meantime, what do we make of all of this?

This is an “ox in the ditch” situation.   I hope and pray the NCAA and Boise State will step up immediately and provide shelter and safety for Antoine Turner.  This is definitely a case of rules getting in way.

*****As of 1:30 EST, May 14, 2014, the NCAA gave approval to Boise State to provide immediate assistance to Antoine Turner.  The news came out as I was writing this blog post!  Thanks be to God!

For the past five years, I’ve lived on the beautiful coast lands of Georgia…specifically St. Simons Island.  Everyday for five years, I go back and forth across the St. Simons causeway to visit the hospitals, take my kids to school, shop, play golf, or just visit.  And every time I travel across that causeway, I see this sign.  The sign warns me to be cautious.  I am warned to look out for terrapin turtles crossing the road.  They are endangered on the coast and we do all we can to ensure their survival.

Honestly, as many times as I’ve been across that causeway, I have never seen ONE terrapin crossing the road – even from May to July.  Nope, not one.  As a matter of fact, I haven’t even seen a dead terrapin that someone has run over.  Not one.

Based on my own personal experience, I might wonder a few things:

1. Do terrapin turtles actually exist?
2. Do terrapin turtles actually cross the road?
3. When/If people run over a terrapin turtle, do they stop, pick it up, take it home and make soup?
4. Are terrapin turtles amazingly more brilliant than we think and when they see a car coming they say to themselves, “are you kidding me? I’m not crossing the street now!”

I know terrapins exist.  I don’t know the answer to any of the other questions.  But here’s what I do know…

Biologists and scientists I know and trust on St. Simons and Jekyll Islands tell me that over 115 terrapins are killed each year by motor vehicles on the causeways from St. Simons and Jekyll Islands.  They do intensive studies and find the mostly female turtle carcasses along the causeways in their search for high, dry ground to lay their eggs along the roads.  A seriously endangered species with over 800 fatalities in the past 7 years on two short Georgia causeways.  I had no idea.

And in thinking about terrapins, I also thought about so many other things in my life that I never see…that I don’t really pay much attention to…that I think don’t matter…and yet when the dust settles, many of those thing matter deeply.  As a pastor, I should know that by now.  I see people everyday who ignore the signposts of life.  The signs caution us to speak kindly, love deeply, give generously if we really want to experience the fullness of life.  But we don’t see the immediate connection of our small actions, so we just keep driving down the roads of life focused on our own needs and concerns.  We ignore the signs at our own peril.  We begin to believe that if we don’t see the lives negatively affected by our neglect they must not exist.  Yet, all along the roads of our lives there may be the carcasses of friends, families, and our own well being.

Remember, just because you don’t see them, doesn’t mean they’re not there.

Just because we don’t see the harm done to others by our words and actions, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Just because we don’t see the fruit of a simple act of kindness, love, or generosity doesn’t mean they aren’t transforming the world around you.

Colossians 3:1-4

So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth, for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory.

How we choose to see things plays a large part in how we live our lives.  Psychologists and sociologists will tell you that once we have certain basic needs met – food, health, clothing, and shelter – and once we have a minimal amount of wealth, all of the problems that follow after this are usually problems of perception.  Let me give you a few examples of how perceptions make all the difference.  Rory Sutherland shared these in a recent TED talk I heard while traveling.

In 18^th century Prussia, King Frederick wanted to introduce the potato as the second staple crop in his kingdom.  Wheat was the primary staple, but Frederick knew that if something catastrophic happened and the wheat harvest was compromised, it would throw his kingdom into chaos.  The potato would give stability and safety.  The problem was no one in Prussia wanted the potato or knew what to do with it.  They refused even under orders to grow potatoes.  Frederick decided to change the way everyone looked at potatoes.  He named it the official food of the King and grew potatoes in the royal gardens under guards – but the guards were told not to guard the potatoes too well.  As any 18^th century peasant knows, if it’s worth guarding, it’s worth stealing.  The peasants broke in and stole the potatoes.  Next thing you know, people are growing and eating potatoes.  Frederick didn’t change anything other than the way people perceived potatoes.

Do you know what the most valuable jewelry in Prussia in the first half of the 19^th century was?  It was jewelry made of cast iron.  Why?  During the war with the French, people of means turned in their gold and precious jewelry to support the war.  In return, they were given replicas made in cast iron.  For 50 years after the war, the highest status jewelry you could wear in Prussia was cast iron.  It wasn’t about the actual intrinsic value of the jewelry, rather it was the deep, symbolic value cast iron jewelry had in Prussia.  It said your family made a great sacrifice for the cause of the war.  It was all about how they saw things….

Eurostar is a train that travels all across Europe.  It has a line from London to Paris under the English Channel.  Several years ago, they put $6 billion pounds or about $10 billion dollars investment in their infrastructure to increase travel time from London to Paris by about 40 minutes from over 3 hours to 2 hours and 30 minutes.  Why did they do this?  Because the business travelers felt it took too long.  They had a problem with the amount of travel time so Eurostar set out to “fix” the problem.  Their fix was technical, mechanical and expensive – $6 billion pounds worth of new tracks and trains.   They never stopped to think about how changing the perceptions could have saved a lot of money.   Rory Sutherland suggested the following:  For .1% of this money, you could have put free Wi-Fi on the train.  It would not decrease the travel time but it would have made the time more enjoyable and more productive for those traveling.  For .5 to 1% of the money, you could have paid all of Europe’s male and female super models to walk up and down the aisles handing out free Champagne to all the passengers.  They would have had almost $6 billion pounds left over and the passengers would have asked for the train to be slowed down.

Life only has two forms of value.  Tangible Value (things you can buy, touch, see, hold, control, fix, and build), and Intangible Value (things that are unable to be touched, grasped; things that do not have physical presence).

We were originally created to value INTANGIBLE things.  We are created in the image of God for relationship with God and for relationship with each other.  This is why the Great Commandment is “love of God and neighbor”.  It seeks to help us return to God’s original intent for our purpose.

The problem is ever since the Fall Sin caused us to seek value in TANGIBLE things (thus kingdoms and kings, conquering territories, war, power, gold, etc.).  Sin did this to us and it continues to do it to us.  When we seek Intangible Values, we set our minds on things that are above.  When we seek Tangible Values, we set our minds on things that are on the earth.    Seeking Tangible Values disconnects us from the original intent of our created purpose.  This is why we suffer so many disappointments in life.

The biggest limitation we face in our lives is that when we are confronted with conflict and struggle in life, we look for our solutions in tangible things: technology or economy.  If technology can’t fix the problem, then money can.  If money can’t fix the problem, then technology can.  We just try to change things, we rarely change the way we look at things.  Technology and money only buy us time…they don’t bring our lives into alignment with our created purpose.

In the movie, “The Sixth Sense” with Bruce Willis, the boy Cole says, “I see dead people.”  (That is the famous line!)  But what he says after that is even more chilling, “They don’t know they are dead.  They don’t see each other.  They only see what they want to see.”  In Colossians, Paul says we have been raised with Christ.  You and I have been raised!  We are no longer subjected to the powers of this world.  We are no longer limited by death or any other human limitation.    We have been raised, yet many of us continue to live as if we do not have access to that power…we live as dead people.  We only “see” things we want to see…things that perish and keep us down.

Why do we continue to look at the world through eyes of death and limitation?  Why is it so hard to change our perspective?  Through the Resurrection, we are defined by the Risen Christ.  And our definition in Christ calls us to gain a proper perspective of this world.  We do not raise ourselves; we are raised by being united with Christ.  And if you have been raised with Christ, then you are now able to seek the things differently.  Everything is different for those of us raised in Christ, and we can experience all things new if we can set our minds on the things above.

Two recent experiences make this real for me…

There is a man who was diagnosed of terminal cancer in January.  He was given only a month to live.  He had no time left at all, but he kept going and going.  No one could figure out why until they asked him.  He wanted to make it to his sobriety birthday in April and receive his 13 year sobriety chip.  After he received it and went home, he asked a friend, “What do I do now?”  His friend said, “You can go now.”  He died two days later.  Talk the power of setting your mind on things above…

Another young man I know almost died from drugs.  Why?  He chose the wrong friends.  Why did he choose the wrong friends?  He doesn’t see himself as valuable and precious.  He sees himself as unworthy.  And by seeing himself as worthless, he got into the wrong friends and the wrong life and it almost killed him.  He is turning his life around and beginning to see himself differently.  I told him, “You are loved and precious.  You’ve got to believe it and know that it is true.  Get around good friends who can reinforce it.  You’ve got to see your life differently.”  I got a text from him at 6 a.m. this morning.  It said, “Happy Easter, because of today years ago, I know I am forgiven of all my sins.”  Talk about the power of setting your mind on things above…

Christ is Risen and YOU have been raised with Christ!  The power is yours.  Claim it by setting your mind on things above.  See the world differently – through the eyes of the Risen Lord.

John 12:20-36
 20Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. 21They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” 22Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. 23Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.

27“Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour.28Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” 29The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” 30Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. 31Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. 32And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die. 34The crowd answered him, “We have heard from the law that the Messiah remains forever. How can you say that the Son of Man must be lifted up? Who is this Son of Man?” 35Jesus said to them, “The light is with you for a little longer. Walk while you have the light, so that the darkness may not overtake you. If you walk in the darkness, you do not know where you are going. 36While you have the light, believe in the light, so that you may become children of light.” After Jesus had said this, he departed and hid from them.

Close your eyes for a moment…be still and quiet.

While your eyes were closed, what did you ‘see’?  You might say, “Are you crazy? I didn’t see anything. You told me to close my eyes!”  Some of you may say, “I saw my son,” or “I saw my mother,” or “I saw my sister whose husband just passed away.”  One of the most important lessons we learn in life is summed up in a quote from the Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, “It is only with the heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

I am struck by this Holy Week passage, particularly how it begins and how it ends.  The Passover festival begins and we find some Greeks who are coming to the festival seeking Jesus.  They approach Philip and say, “Sir, we wish to SEE Jesus.”  The word used here for “the Greeks” is different than what the Gospels usually use for Gentiles.  This leads some scholars to believe these are Hellenistic Jews, not Gentiles.  They are coming to the Passover and have probably heard of Jesus.  Just like any good tourist, they wish to see the sights and Jesus is a main draw.  Whether it was simple curiosity or a sincere search for truth, we don’t really know. All we know is they wish to see Jesus.  As Philip and Andrew tell Jesus of the Greeks’ curiosity, Jesus begins to share really odd things.  He talks of dying seeds, a life that will be lost, a troubled soul, and the lifting up of the Son of Man after death. In the midst of it all a thunderous voice of God is heard by all, but only the readers of John are given insight to what the voice says.  After all of this cryptic language, Jesus says, “The light is with you for a little longer. Walk while you have the light, so that the darkness may not overtake you. If you walk in the darkness, you do not know where you are going. While you have the light, believe in the light, so that you may become children of light.”  Then the passage ends with Jesus departing and hiding himself from them.

They wish to see, but Jesus hides himself.

This past Palm Sunday in Kansas City, Kansas, an admitted racist and anti-Semite (one who admits hatred for Jews) was charged with the murder of three people – a boy and his grandfather outside a Jewish community center, and a woman from a Jewish assisted living center.  The Jewish Community Center and Retirement Community was named Village Shalom – which in Hebrew means “peace”.  Hatred, racism, murder, all things born in the darkness found their way into the light of day through a disturbed man.  The man who committed these atrocious acts was blinded by darkness.   And the disturbing irony of the power of darkness?  The three people who were murdered at the Jewish Center…they were all Christians.

The disturbing and disastrous power of darkness.  Mark Twain once said, “One cannot depend on the eyes, when one’s imagination is out of focus.”

This Holy Week, we are once again challenged to live in the tension between darkness and light.  Jesus, the light of the world, confronts the ultimate powers of darkness during Holy Week…misguided perceptions, preconceived notions, cultural powers, sin, and death.  Holy Week brings to the surface the universal conflict between darkness and light, blindness and sight, unbelief and belief.

So where do we fit in all this?  Like the Greeks, many of us continually seek Jesus.  We want to be close.  We want to see and be a part.  Then, Jesus starts talking about death and sacrifice and other things that disturb…and we are not really sure what to make of “that” Jesus.  Where is the Jesus who blessed the children?  Where is the Jesus who fed 5,000?  Where is the Jesus who said “give me your burdens”?

I’m not so sure about this Holy Week Jesus who speaks of death, sacrifice, humility, and suffering.

If we are honest, we will see ourselves in the Greeks who seek Jesus.   We are seekers, but the Jesus we seek during Holy Week is untamable and uncontrollable.  This Son of Man challenges our beliefs, our worldview, our bigotry, our selfishness, our self-righteousness, and our lack of commitment.  This Son of Man calls us to die to the darkness and walk in the light.  If we assume too much and refuse to see the darkness in us, we may find that Jesus is hidden to us.

That’s what the text says, “he departed and hid from them.”  Live in the darkness and you will not see.  Turn away from the light and Christ will be hidden from you.

Marcel Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes…”

Walk in the light…that the darkness may not overcome you.  If there ever was a week to reflect on the power of darkness in our lives, it is this week.

I listened recently to a great podcast by Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast as he wrestled with the topic of gratefulness.  What is the connection between happiness and gratefulness?  Some people think happiness comes before gratitude.  But, we all know people who have a lot of things to be grateful for, yet they are unhappy.  We also know people who don’t have much at all or they suffer misfortune, yet they radiate happiness.  So which comes first?

Brother David declares, “It is gratefulness that makes us happy.  Happiness does not make us grateful.”

Gratitude comes when something valuable is given to us as a gift.  Gratefulness comes first in response to the gift, then happiness follows.  We can all understand gratitude when given a great gift, but what about every moment of every day?  How do we live gratefully?  We must become aware that every moment is a “given” moment – a gift given to you.  We have no way to be sure that another moment will be given!  Every moment is a new gift!  As you reflect on the beauty of each moment given, we become more grateful for life and we discover happiness.

Are we grateful for everything in life?  No.  There are things like war, violence, misfortune, and oppression that we are not grateful for, but Brother David doesn’t say we are to be grateful for everything…he says we are to be grateful  in every given moment.  Even when confronted with difficulty, we can rise to the moment  and become grateful to learn patience, to learn endurance, and to learn love.

If we want to live gratefully in every moment, Brother David says we must…”Stop, look, and go”.

We don’t stop enough in life. We must be quiet.  We need more stop signs in our lives.  When we stop, we invite opportunities of joy…we begin to ‘look’ and see more to be grateful for in life.  If you are grateful, you are not fearful.  When we are grateful, we act out of a sense of “enough”.  When we are grateful, we respect those around us.

I am grateful for this lesson from Brother David.  It made me happy.  I thought I would share.  A grateful world is a world of joyful people!

Sunday morning…beach was empty. Hopefully they were in church!

“I will always love you.  I will never lie to you.  Always listen to my voice.”

Those three statements where whispered in my daughter’s ear as we began our trust walk.  Sarah Mac, my 16 year old daughter, was blindfolded and it was my job to help navigate her through the woods near the Satilla River.  The first third of the walk I could put my hands on her shoulders to guide her and give her direction.  The middle of the walk I could only use my hands on her shoulders to guide her…I couldn’t speak.  The final third of the walk I was not allowed to guide or speak.  I could only assist IF Sarah asked for help.  When she would ask, I could answer her questions.  Along the way, some of the leaders would try to encourage Sarah to go the wrong way.  She would ask if they were telling the truth.  They weren’t, of course.

At the end of the walk, we debriefed.  We talked about our fears and feelings.  As I reflected, I quickly became aware that the trust walk in the woods near the Satilla River really wasn’t very scary at all.  If Sarah ran into a tree (as horrible as that sounds) we could simply clean her up and put a bandage on her scrape.  The real fear came in knowing that as a father I won’t always be there to guide or even answer her questions when she asks.  If she is confronted with a challenge in life, will she stop and take time to call me and ask.  Not always.  I know that and you do too.  That’s why its so important to take seriously each and every modeling moment in life.  They truly matter!  We always wonder, have we done enough?  Have we given her enough resource, knowledge, and direction?

There are many hard parts of parenting.  As we move into the final two years of high school, you look back over the past 16 years and wonder, “Have we done enough?”  This requires a tremendous amount of trust.  I’m not sure many parents don’t wonder about the same thing.  Even if we are concerned, the reality is we can’t make up in two years what we haven’t done in 16.  Not only is it nearly impossible to impart that knowledge in that time frame, the biggest obstacle is that your 16, 17, or 18 year old is not as receptive to those lessons now as they would have been at 7, 8, or 9.

Our girls. We were the Rosie Riveters team. Don’t ask…

Our weekend together was special and it really helped us to see how important our bond is.  No matter how strong our relationship, there are always struggles.  The Hearts United Father Daughter weekend reminded me of two amazing and invaluable lessons:

1. There is no substitute for intentional time set apart in relationships.  The old debate of quality vs. quantity is very simple.  It is hard to achieve depth of quality without time.  We must be intentional about the time we carve out with our children.  I know there are situations that prevent us from sharing the time we would like (for example, several dads on the weekend are divorced and only see their daughters once per week or every other weekend).  We have to do whatever we can to make that time happen.  There is no substitute for time.  The greatest gift of the weekend is that it forced me to carve out my entire weekend and devote it to my daughter.  I wouldn’t have traded it for anything!
2. Children need encouragement.  Our children long for encouragement from their parents.  My daughter longs for encouragement from me.  I realized that I need to do a better job with my words of encouragement.  The Losada Ratio proves this to be true.  If you want your family to flourish, you must speak 5 words of encouragement for every word of criticism.  This ratio leads to a flourishing life.  Less than that leads to a languishing life.  More than anything, I want my daughters to flourish!

Sunday morning on the beach.

Genesis 22:3-4

So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac; he cut the wood for the burnt offering, and set out and went to the place in the distance that God had shown him. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place far away. 

Most of us have faced big decisions in life.  In the midst of those decisions, we struggle with a great deal of tension between the moment a decision is presented to us and the moment we make the decision itself.  The reason many of us don’t entertain risky changes in life is because we are extremely uncomfortable with the tension “in between”.  Our natural inclinations want to alleviate tension at all costs.  The problem with trying to get rid of the tension too quickly is we often sacrifice the pull into the future or we ignore our current reality.

I like to think of these moments of struggle as the “between”.  In the “between” moments, things are chaotic and uncertain.  Will we make the right decision?  Will we choose the right path?  Will we choose wrong and have our entire life ruined?  It’s even harder when those decisions involve other people, especially your family.  Sometimes the fear of change is just too much.   We turn back and head home to the comfortable, safe place.

I am wrestling with Genesis 22.  Particularly these seemingly obscure passages about Abraham and Isaac’s journey to Mt. Moriah where God is sending Abraham to present Isaac as a sacrifice.  God comes to Abraham and calls him to present Isaac.  Isaac is his heir.  Ishmael has been sent away.  All the promises God has made now hang in the balance as God commands Abraham to sacrifice his son.  

The whole adventure with Abraham started with a call from God.  Abraham began his original journey with God by venturing out in to the deep – into the unknown.  But Abraham’s original “between” moment (as he headed to Canaan) was filled with the hope that he was headed toward his future – the unfolding future of a new land.  Now as Abraham’s story nears the end, God calls to him again and sends him out.  Abraham is venturing out into the unknown once again.  But unlike his first journey which cut him off from his past, this journey could cut him off from his future.  A lot to process during a three day trip on a mule!

Why did God command Abraham to travel so far for this sacrifice?  Why not go to the altar nearby his encampment and present Isaac there?  I mean, that’s where the sacrifices to God normally took place.  Why a mountain three days away?  

I believe this “between” time was for both Abraham and God.  

For Abraham (and for us), the provision of God must be wrestled with and trusted in the “between” moments in life.  We must take time to think deeply about decisions we face.  Can you imagine the struggle on the three day journey knowing what is asked of Abraham?  Can you imagine how many times Abraham questioned, doubted, and probably considered turning around and going home?  The text doesn’t give us much insight into the journey itself, but I can imagine it was excruciating for Abraham.

But this was also a moment in time for God to see Abraham’s faith.  God sent Abraham to a place he would show him.  God knew the three days would be a “between” time to evaluate Abraham’s commitment to His command.  God wanted to see Abraham wrestle.  God wanted to see how he would respond.  If you read on in Genesis 22, God actually says at the conclusion of the story, “now, I know”…as if God was waiting to see what Abraham would do!  God wasn’t sure of the outcome!

This passage speaks to difficult decisions we all face in life.  Will we stay with the “3 day” journey?  Will we move patiently through the “between” times in life as tension-filled as they may be?  Or will we seek to do away with the tension?  I wonder what God will learn about us if we seek to reconcile things before we’ve journeyed to Mt. Moriah.  The opportunity for second thoughts is always possible.  Only at the end of the journey can God say, “Now I know.”

A final thought…

For those who say, “God already knows everything.  God knows what we will do and not do!”, I say read Genesis 22 again.  How can this actually be a test if Abraham has no choice?  Look again at Jesus’ struggle in the garden as he faced his death.  God does give us freedom to choose!  As Thomas Merton wrote, “A [person] who fears to settle their future by a good act of their own free choice does not understand the love of God.  For our freedom is a gift of God given us in order that He may be able to love us more perfectly, and be loved by us more perfectly in return….He Who loves us means to leave us room for our own freedom so that we may dare to choose for ourselves, with no other certainty than that His love will be pleased by our intention to please Him.”

In 1969, renowned professor of clinical psychology and the University of Pennsylvania, Dr. Martin Seligman, coined the term “learned helplessness”. The phrase out of a series of experiments (which I realize are quite horrible and inhumane). He had three groups of dogs which were all put in harnesses where they could not move. The dogs in group one were placed in the harness and then released. The dogs in group two were in the harness and given an electrical shock, but there was a lever they could push and the shock would stop. The dogs in group three were in harnesses and given an electrical shock, they also had a lever in front of them but the lever did not stop the electric shock.

What Seligman first discovered was that dogs from groups 1 and 2 recovered quickly from their ordeals when they returned back to their pens with the other dogs and seemed vibrant and healthy. The dogs from group 3 learned quickly that the shock was inescapable and they had no control over it. When returned to their regular pens with the other dogs, these dogs from group 3, became helpless and manifested symptoms of chronic depression.  (No surprise there!)

But there was more. The first stage of experiments I described took place over a period of time to reinforce the outcome. Later that year, Seligman’s second stage of the experiment put all three groups of dogs in a type of shuttle box, a box with a low divider where the dogs could move from one side to the other if needed. Dogs from group 1 and 2 would quickly a shock by jumping over the low center divider to the other side. The dogs from group 3 were also shocked and what Seligman saw reinforced his suspicion. The dogs from group 3, who had previously “learned” that nothing they did would affect the shocks, simply laid down and whined when shocked. They didn’t try to escape at all. Seligman said the dogs in group 3 had developed “learned helplessness”.

Toward the end of the first year of experiments, Seligman and his team tried to coax the dogs from group3 across the shuttle box to avoid the shock. They used treats, incentives, coaxing, allowed them to watch the other dogs and other methods. The dogs had been so conditioned by learned helplessness that nothing they would do would help the dogs move away from the shock…except for one thing.  Seligman found that only when they went in, physically picked up the dogs and moved their legs to model for them how to move across the shuttle box at least 2 to 3 times would the dogs actually “learn” new behavior and escape the shock.  Threats, rewards, and even watching the other dogs escape did not change their thinking. Only when the scientists reached down, picked them up, and moved their legs did the learn they could change the outcome.

Seligman argued that learned helplessness is wired into our biology. Many of us have been here.  Through significant suffering, grief, or even just getting stuck in the mundane routine of life, we feel we cannot control the outcome.  .  We just take it – whatever life sends us.  We never try to escape.  We never try to combat the powers.  There is nothing we can do…or so we think.  We see others rise above, but that is not enough to call us to rise up.  No, we just resign ourselves to suffering.

Professional poker champion Phil Gordon in his “Little Green Book on Poker”, says at the end, “I’ve disovered there are sick gamblers. We’re talking people who expect to lose. They are actually soothed by losing because it’s the only way they can confirm just how unlucky, undeserving, and cursed they are. I may try to help a sick gambler, but not while I’m playing. They expect to get beaten…while I may feel sorry for them, it is my duty to fulfill their expectations.”

Most of us think we are smarter than a dog and that we would never allow that to happen to us.  I’ve found in my life I’m not. I spend years in a state of learned helplessness after my parents divorce.  I just accepted what was.  I had no control over it.

So, how do we rise above the learned helplessness of life?  Not through talk, Paul says, but power…actions…and God does this through the community of faith. God’s hands are the hands of those who pick us up and move our legs across the walls that stand in our way.

The desert fathers of the 2nd and 3rd centuries believed there were three ways we gained the mind of Christ and learned to live in unity and love.
1. Prayer and Introspection
2. Participate in the Sacraments
3. Seek out a Spiritual Guide (Abba or Amma) who has the mind of Christ and can teach you.  While all three are vital, the third leg is crucial to overcoming learned helplessness.

In 1997, I was an associate at St. Luke in Columbus, a 3500 member church. I was not happy and thought, I know God called me to ministry, but I’m not enjoying this. I applied to be a campus minister, thinking…that at least looks fun. Now before I make any big decision in life, I seek out my mentors. I had prayed and sought God, but one of my mentors, Mike McAfee, gave sage wisdom, “John, what has God called you to do?” I replied, he called me to ministry, to preach, to lead people to Christ and discipleship. Are you doing that, he asked? Well, sure, I said. He wisely said something I didn’t want to hear. John, an associate is great, but don’t deceive yourself into thinking you are doing the kind of ministry God has called you to. Here is my advice, leave there, get your own church and see what God does and says. If you still want out, I will support you. I moved that next year to my first appointment as sole pastor and I haven’t had a second thought ONE time since.

Where do you need to submit yourself and allow another to come alongside of you?  Who can lift you up, move your legs and teach you to move out of the limitations of the learned helplessness you are stuck in?

Some of us may be bound up in the mundane, but you can rise above it. You can’t do it alone. You need someone to come alongside of you. The holy spirit does this through others around us as they lead us out of learned helplessness into putting on the mind of Christ.

I just finished reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers, which gives some interesting thoughts on success.  As I was reading it, I thought about how the church is called to be successful in its own way of making disciples and I wondered what we may learn from Gladwell.

One of the first things he makes clear is the importance of hard work and opportunity when it comes to success.  Many of us believe it is simply the amount of talent or intelligence we have but there is more to success than innate abilities and giftedness.  Both are important.  “Achievement is talent plus preparation,” Gladwell writes.  Through a variety of interesting examples, from Canadian hockey players to Korean airline pilots, Gladwell lays out how timing and culture play a large role in our success or failures.  He does not insinuate that success is arbitrary, or “lucky”.  Rather, he argues hard work is integral to success.  He writes, “…the more psychologists look at the careers of the gifted, the smaller the role of innate talent seems to play and the bigger the role of preparation seems to play.”  He goes on to say that people who are the most successful don’t just work harder…they work much, much harder.  Interesting.

Gladwell is the originator of the concept of “10,000 hours is the magic number for greatness – the number of hours required to be an expert.”  If you dedicate to a craft for 20 hours per week, that means you need 10 years to be considered an expert.  You can cut that in half if you double it to 40 hours per week.  That’s still 5 years of doing nothing but honing your craft and skill.  How many of us really do that?

Finally, Gladwell says, “it is not the brightest who succeed.  If so, ordinary geniuses would be up there with Einstein.  Nor is success simply the sum of decisions and efforts we make on our own behalf…it is rather, a gift.”  His seminal quote is this: “Outliers are those who have been given opportunities—and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them.”

Now that last part is the part I like!  It is a gift.  Success at anything we do is a gift given to us by God (my words, not Gladwell’s).

What does this look like for us at Wesley?  Simply put, we have been given some amazing gifts and some wonderful opportunities.  Just look around at what we have…our intellects…our resources…our influence…we are blessed with innate gifts.  But that isn’t always enough to do all that we could do.  If we are to be all God calls us to be, we must put in the time and energy into making disciples, living righteously, and doing justice.  I truly believe Wesley is poised to break out and move to another level, but it won’t come just because we want it to come.  We must put in the time.  We must put in the energy.  We must put in the hours to help re-create the world around us.